I often go into my counselor's office regretting or feeling somewhat guilty of something. Then one of two things happen: she either has to coax it of me, or I end up spilling my heart right there like I had been holding my breath too long. She calls this the "binge and purge" cycle during which I think about something in particular excessively, and then eventually blurt my heart out to someone I trust, but then think later that I said a little too much.
Some things in your heart are meant for only you and God. It's a place where you can be alone and reflect and enjoy some quiet time to pray and rest, and if you allow too much noise in your sanctuary, it's harder to reenergize and bring yourself back to a peaceful mindset.
There should be a few people in your life that you trust enough to tell all and not have to worry about your heart being shared with the world. But see, there should always be a balance and filter in what you say and do to express your heart.
MY TIPS ON HOW TO SPEAK YOUR HEART CONSERVATIVELY AND WHY:
1.) Decide the importance : how important is what you have to say to a particular person? Are you acting on account of your emotions, or are you consciously making the decision to tell them this? Always think before you speak, because this can help you not regret saying something later
2.) Assess pros and cons: what are the good and bad outcomes that may arise because of what you said?
3.) Be mindful of time and location: there's a time and a place for everything. Depending on the importance and sensativity of what you want to say, you may want to talk in private or in public, and you might want to wait a little bit until you are sure you are not speaking out of emotion or when the other person is focused enough and able to receive what you have to say maturely.
4.) Gage based on the listener: some things are better left unsaid or said to a few people that you truly trust and know will keep things confidential when appropriate. Remember that if what you say is a threat to yourself or other's health and wellbeing, that the people who hear it have the right and responsibility to report it to the appropriate people such as guardians or police. This is just to ensure your safety and the safety of others
5.) Journal your thoughts: start a journal that is very detailed and is meant for only you (and maybe for discussion with a pastor or confidential counselor). This will help you see your heart clearly and honestly. Sometimes, we create fantasies or deny to hold on to the truth we want, and journaling can show you "how it is", and allow us to be more open. Journals can be great for helping counselors better assist you and encourage you!