It takes a lot of concentration and discipline to renew the mind and filter our thoughts. You might've noticed that much of the posts in this blog have this in common. I am constantly talking about choosing what thoughts we entertain, because eveything we think, whether consciously or subconsciously, influences our actions and the way we feel.
I am still working on deciding to act instead of reacting to a situation that is less then ideal. In my Freshman and Sophomore Years in high school, I would frequently be called terrible names if someone happened to collide with my chair. Most of the time, they were the ones at fault, but even so, I apologized, because if they were treating me unkindly it was because they thought I was driving carelessly.
In times like these, I would feel a need to defend, which is a reaction. In some cases, it's the right thing to do, but in these sotuations, I was not at risk of being physically hurt. That's when I needed to step back and remind myself that I didn't know what was going on in that person's life, so instead of judging, I tried to have it roll off my shoulders.
It was not an easy thing to do, as I was in the habit of reacting to the moment, because my self-esteem was challenged.
Depending on the situation obviously, remember it's their problem, not yours. Pray for them, or show kindness toward them. This will show them that you will not let their opinions of you define who you are.
MY TIPS FOR LEARNING TO ACT AND NOT REACT WHENEVER POSSIBLE AND WHY:
1.) Assess the situation - are you in danger of being physically hurt? How serious would the hurt be if it were to be physical? Is the situation just verbal bullying? If you are not in danger of being physically hurt, act by letting them say what they say. Don't entertain them by yelling back. If you are in danger, get help. If there is NO OTHER WAY, defend yourself appropriately, but as soon as you are no longer in danger, stop.
2.) Show kindness regardless - Turn the other cheek. Show kindness to them even though they hurt your feelings. This proves your forgiveness. If they do not stop upsetting you, don't spend time in their company whenever possible and tell an authority figure.
3.) Grab a buddy - if you know you will see this person a lot and you know when and where, have a friend go with you who will also act and not react. This is great if you ever need a witness and they can help keep things calm.
4.) Guard your heart - make sure the things in your heart are edifying to both yourself and those around you. If your heart is positive and guarded, you will not be easily swayed into reacting. You will be more likely to know what is true about you and what is just an attack on your self-esteem.
5.) Pray - Prayer is a wonderful thing to do whenever, but it is especially comforting in less than ideal situations. 3 John 1:2 amongst other verses is a great one to remind you that God wants you blessed, healthy and successful in all things. This being known, ask God for help in these situations. Ask yourself "what would Jesus do?" when you are faced with a act or react situation