Every year, juniors and seniors across the country enjoy a night of formal dancing, attire and fun. Girls rush to wedding stores to find the perfect prom or ball dress, and whether guys believe it or not, TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress" series isn't at all far fetched. It wasn't until my own first formal high school dance that I understood the incredible frustration that can go into finding a dress that you'll only wear a few times, if not once, to be realistic.
Though the experience is always a thoroughly exciting time in the end, when you're someone with extremely limited mobility, even more stress can be added on your shoulders. With so very many dresses to search through and try on, it can be a struggle to say the least.
For me, in my experiences of doing this, the number one issue that made changing dresses very difficult was the fact that the store I went to did not have grab bars in the booths. Though I could fit my Quantum 6000 power chair into the booth, and have my mom inside with me with the door shut, space was limited. There also was a changing bench that stretched out far, and I do not believe it could fold up to provide a little more moving room. There was a dress hanger on the wall, to which I held, trying to stay as upright as possible for my mom to adjust the dresses. This got very tiring, as the dress hanger was not made to be a grab bar, so it was a bit lose.
Another issue, though small, still should be mentioned: the changing booths had giant mirrors on the fronts of their doors, not on the wall(s) inside. This made me have to maneuver my chair through the door without getting the dresses caught in the wheels, just so I could see what the dress looked like. On average, I only spent about 2-4 minutes deciding on the dresses I did not want (some dresses after seeing them on yourself, you just know they're not it).
Because I'd frequently spend so little time in front of the mirror with a majority of the dresses I wanted to try, this contributed to my frustration of having to go in and out, in and out, whereas if I knew I'd probably be staying in front of the mirror longer with a "maybe" dress, things might've been different; the time would be worth the traveling between the mirror and the booth.
Depending on the size of a particular dress, my mom would just drape it over the top of the one I was wearing, and that made things a bit easier on the both of us, as I didn't need to leave the mirror as often. The downsides to that are 1.) you don't have the privacy of the changing booth, and 2.) it's difficult to tell just how you'll look in a dress without actually wearing it (that's why there's changing booths in the first place).
When it's all over though and you've found your dress, it somehow makes it all worth it!!!
I would like to give you some of my thoughts on how to make your formal dress shopping experience easier and hopefully faster.
MY TIPS FOR SHOPPING FORMAL DRESS WITH MOBILITY LACKING & WHY:
1.) Call Around & Ahead: make a list of local and potential formal dress stores, and call several, asking about their accessibility. Tell them your specific needs, which may include, but don't have to be limited to:
- private changing booth
- full-body mirror inside the changing booth
- grab bar
- a salesclerk that will bring and set aside dresses according to your wishes
Find a store that can provide you with as many of your ideal accessibility options as possible. Calling ahead can also give the store(s) you'd like to visit a heads up, so they can try and better accommodate you, or improvise safely.
2.) Wear the "Thin & Stretchy": try as much as you can to go to the store(s) of your choice wearing thin, elastic-waistband/stretchy pants. If you wear tight-fitting fabrics (jeans, some sweatpants, etc) that your hand cannot easily glide across, you're most likely going to run into some frustration with fitting into the dresses. Keep in mind that you want to minimize the amount of changing clothes you do, so you can focus more on the dresses themselves and not how to get your daily, casual wear off.
3.) Try "Little Largers": when you're first trying on dresses and you have yet to narrow them down to at least the final two, try on dresses that are a little larger than your final dress will be. This will make the frequent dressing and undressing easier. Pull the dress inward in the appropriate places to get a sense of what the dress would look like in the right size.
4.) Use a "Demo" Dress: once you find the perfect style and know the right size that you're final dress will be, try on a dress that fits the "final product". It might be the wrong color than what you're looking for, but that's okay. Wear it and then drape the final selection dresses over it, covering the demo dress color completely. Then, after you've narrowed your choice down to two, swap them back and forth over the demo dress, until you settle on a color. Then, all that's left is buying the dress and saying, "I'd like my dress in ___ style, ___ color and at this __ [size]." The staff will assist you in ordering the correct dress of your dreams.
5.) Bring Small Hair Accessories: because you're probably not going in the store all "dolled up" in your final "this is it" makeup and hairstyle, make the visualizing easier by bringing hair ties, and a few small glittery hair pieces to throw in your hair when you're trying a dress.
6.) Hem It: hemming means someone shortens the dress to your liking. If you use a wheelchair, this might be a great thing to consider.
7.) Make The Chair "Designated Grab-Bar": in the absence of a much needed grab bar within your changing booth, see if you can lean onto the armrests of your chair to help stabilize you as you're changing.
8.) Use the "Halfway Method": unless it's you're final two dresses, try only getting into the dress without closing the back if possible. Because you'll be sitting in your wheelchair most likely, as you try on dresses, the back of the chair might be wide, solid and tall enough to hide the open back. This would ease the amount of time spent on changing dresses or trying to get a zipper unstuck
9.) Use Photoshop: if you know the perfect dress style and size and you've already worn a dress that has what you're looking for other than the color, dress in it at home, take a full-body picture and then using photo editing software, digitally change the color until you find what you really like. Then locate a store that sells that ideal or similar dress style and size, and request your color of choice.