Going into my teens was a nightmare. I felt overwhelmed by all the new changes in my body and the new chapters that were beginning around me. I began to focus more on physical appearance and struggled with accepting the way I looked; I saw my disability.
In middle school everyone was beginning to explore who they were and what their purpose was. They also started getting crushes and I was no different. My insecurity about myself formed a bubble around me that made me hide away from new experiences, and dating was one of my biggest stressors. Little did I know that an old friend of mine was also dealing with his own doubts about whether or not he was worthy and strong enough to face new paths.
By our Sophomore Year of high school, my friend and I had spent more time together, catching up and learning about each other's new interests. We both wanted to be in the medical field, and he especially was pursuing a career as an orthopedic surgeon.
Then Valentine's Day came around I dreaded it. It always amplified my insecurities, because I felt that Valentine's Day ignored me. But the day before, at 8 at night, my friend showed up at my house with a card and chocolate and asked me out on a date.
At first, I was nervous, but then I realized that having hung out with him several times prior to this, had proven his dedication and affection for me, and so I knew I could be more relaxed around him. To my surprise, he was equally, if not more nervous, than I was. He was constantly trying to do everything right. We went and saw the movie, The Grey in theaters, and he was thoroughly enjoying himself, making little comments or criticisms about it under his breath, while I desperately tried to keep from screaming. He kept asking me if I was okay and if I wanted to leave, seeing that I was ducking my face into my chest and bouncing a foot in the air out of fear. I breathlessly denied that I needed to leave, but eventually, we did - half way through. Our second outing together, we ate at the mall, and having learned my needs thoroughly , he became quick to offer help. He actually did everything I needed before I asked, even thought of some things I hadn't, but found to be very helpful in managing my meal.
We went to Junior Prom together, and though I felt incredibly comfortable, when people were getting up to dance, I became uneasy, thinking about how my limited mobility would affect my ability to dance like everyone else. My date wanted to dance, and I said I would... I was very hesitant. A second later, I felt like I had just signed myself up for the Hunger Games or something. I thought that I was going to have an attack, and we skipped the next few opportunities to dance because I was scared.
I then realized that I wasn't being honest with myself or my date and that I wasn't being fair. Then I just decided to do it. I powered down my chair and swung the foot plates out of the way, and then my friends stood around us for safety. I have amazing friends, and they helped give me a wonderful memory.
MY TIPS FOR GETTING OVER THE UNEASINESS OF DATING AND WHY:
1.) Laugh - laughter always eases people's uneasiness. It's contagious. Laughing will make both you and your significant other sure to smile which can help break the ice a bit
2.) Prepare & Anticipate - it's always easier to deal with things if you can plan out what to do in a situation, and preparation and anticipation are big when dating. Prepare by telling your date what things you will need beforehand, such as help cutting food, ordering, and transferring. Anticipate any mishaps that might occur like spills, restroom needs or seizures.
3.) Remember why you're on the date - you wouldn't be doing this if your dat wasn't willing to handle your needs or a relationship with you. Chances are they've thought through what might come up to some extent, but this would be a wonderful opportunity to educate them more and also help break any possible stereotypes for good
4.) Show interest in your date's passions - give your date attention. Ask them about themselves, because showing interest in them will help ease their doubting about whether or not they are doing the right thing. Both you and your date should feel comfortable enough to talk about things other than the weather! He, he!
5.) Be grateful - this might be self-explanatory, but this will help your date feel appreciated and will increase the possibility of future outings.
In middle school everyone was beginning to explore who they were and what their purpose was. They also started getting crushes and I was no different. My insecurity about myself formed a bubble around me that made me hide away from new experiences, and dating was one of my biggest stressors. Little did I know that an old friend of mine was also dealing with his own doubts about whether or not he was worthy and strong enough to face new paths.
By our Sophomore Year of high school, my friend and I had spent more time together, catching up and learning about each other's new interests. We both wanted to be in the medical field, and he especially was pursuing a career as an orthopedic surgeon.
Then Valentine's Day came around I dreaded it. It always amplified my insecurities, because I felt that Valentine's Day ignored me. But the day before, at 8 at night, my friend showed up at my house with a card and chocolate and asked me out on a date.
At first, I was nervous, but then I realized that having hung out with him several times prior to this, had proven his dedication and affection for me, and so I knew I could be more relaxed around him. To my surprise, he was equally, if not more nervous, than I was. He was constantly trying to do everything right. We went and saw the movie, The Grey in theaters, and he was thoroughly enjoying himself, making little comments or criticisms about it under his breath, while I desperately tried to keep from screaming. He kept asking me if I was okay and if I wanted to leave, seeing that I was ducking my face into my chest and bouncing a foot in the air out of fear. I breathlessly denied that I needed to leave, but eventually, we did - half way through. Our second outing together, we ate at the mall, and having learned my needs thoroughly , he became quick to offer help. He actually did everything I needed before I asked, even thought of some things I hadn't, but found to be very helpful in managing my meal.
We went to Junior Prom together, and though I felt incredibly comfortable, when people were getting up to dance, I became uneasy, thinking about how my limited mobility would affect my ability to dance like everyone else. My date wanted to dance, and I said I would... I was very hesitant. A second later, I felt like I had just signed myself up for the Hunger Games or something. I thought that I was going to have an attack, and we skipped the next few opportunities to dance because I was scared.
I then realized that I wasn't being honest with myself or my date and that I wasn't being fair. Then I just decided to do it. I powered down my chair and swung the foot plates out of the way, and then my friends stood around us for safety. I have amazing friends, and they helped give me a wonderful memory.
MY TIPS FOR GETTING OVER THE UNEASINESS OF DATING AND WHY:
1.) Laugh - laughter always eases people's uneasiness. It's contagious. Laughing will make both you and your significant other sure to smile which can help break the ice a bit
2.) Prepare & Anticipate - it's always easier to deal with things if you can plan out what to do in a situation, and preparation and anticipation are big when dating. Prepare by telling your date what things you will need beforehand, such as help cutting food, ordering, and transferring. Anticipate any mishaps that might occur like spills, restroom needs or seizures.
3.) Remember why you're on the date - you wouldn't be doing this if your dat wasn't willing to handle your needs or a relationship with you. Chances are they've thought through what might come up to some extent, but this would be a wonderful opportunity to educate them more and also help break any possible stereotypes for good
4.) Show interest in your date's passions - give your date attention. Ask them about themselves, because showing interest in them will help ease their doubting about whether or not they are doing the right thing. Both you and your date should feel comfortable enough to talk about things other than the weather! He, he!
5.) Be grateful - this might be self-explanatory, but this will help your date feel appreciated and will increase the possibility of future outings.