I've worked with caregivers my entire life and each one of course, had a different personality. Out of all those that I've worked with, thus far, only a few were able to "dance with me", while the rest were challenging and tough to get along with. While I am blessed to have had the experiences, good and bad, as they helped strengthen me and realize what I truly wanted in a caregiver when it came time for me to hire my own, I do not wish for anyone to have to go through such a roller coaster when working with an assistant.
I thought I'd write this post directed to nurses, home health aids, family carers and school aids. I wish to share with you all some of my experiences and what I found to be helpful and pursued while I prepared to interview and hire potential caregivers. It's imperative that no matter the patient's cognitive ability, you guys work like a well-oiled machine; you get familiar with body and eye language, and feel at ease when together!
1.) Have a full résumé of caregiver experience: the more experience you can provide your patient/employer, the better, as this lets them know you've "seen it all" and that they can trust you and grow close to you.
2.) Be friends: I cannot stress this enough, oh my gosh! I've worked with several aids who stay super quiet and are not willing to talk or feel what they do is "just a job"; it's not. You are working to encourage and assist someone in furthering their independence or to keep them comfortable and preserve as much as their dignity as you can. You should be a person that this employer/patient can talk to about their life, ups, downs, everything. You are seeing them in some of their most personal and private moments, and if both of you feel uneasy, the person you're helping may subconsciously feel like a burden, and your work day will feel very dull.
3.) Speak lovingly: I had one caregiver in particular that would dress me, bathe me and take me out when my mother needed a break, who always made a point to speak softly. She didn't speak to me like I was younger than I was, but never raised her voice, sighed, showed frustration, exhaustion or irritation. Her voice calmed me and helped me know right away that she cared very deeply for me, my life and my success. She immediately came across as a very tender, enjoyable and approachable person, and today, we are the very best of friends!
4.) Frequently reassure: as you are in the process of lifting, washing, dressing, or repositioning the person, making an effort to ease them with your words is great! Tell them that you're right there and that you won't let them fall, or that you're going to help them be as comfortable as possible.
5.) Validate, Validate, Validate: if the person you're helping has an issue, validate it; don't act as though they are faking it or don't know what they're talking about. If you have doubts, *privately* discuss them with their parent or doctor. I had one aid at one point that did not validate my convulsive disorder as actual seizures because they were not Epileptic, rather Pyscogenic. This angered me and I got to the point where I was afraid of having an episode around her. Though my parents and doctors explained several times that they were involuntary and sporadic and *real*, my aid continued to believe otherwise. She would also not validate fully, my need for a scribe, and eventually, I replaced her. It was incredibly difficult to not blame myself, but I soon realized that it needed to be done.
6.) Communicate: while it's incredibly vital that you are fully aware of their needs and how to help them, the person you're caring for must also know if you need to change something or are uncomfortable. Talk frequently with them to see if they want you to have different duties in their care or not, how and when. Suggest the option of having you tag along to therapy appointments and if they are able to consent an do, that can be a great opportunity for you to ask professional, specialized advice