"I know what drugs can do. They're no party." - Sarah Hamlin
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I remember watching an educational video on the subject while in school at one point, and I started to think about how addiction affects the body and mind. Some people get to the point where the addiction runs every aspect of their life, and the more I read about cravings and withdrawal, the more I started to rethink my views regarding addicts.
A few months after I learned that my birth mom was an addict, I changed my heart. I thought about what could have caused her to get addicted. There might've been a variety of reasons, including domestic abuse, poor self-image or loss of hope. Some people are surprised when I tell them I'm not angry at her. I started to use this as a driving force behind my desire to educate others about the affects of drug abuse and addiction.
So many young kids think it's funny when they joke that they or someone else is a "crack head", and they don't realize how offensive that is until I ask them point blank, "do you want to know how I got in this chair?" That's when their faces turn red and their smiles fade. It's not a joke. I remind them that every thought we have determines our future actions in the next second, which can either help us excel or ruin our lives, or the lives of those after us. My life wasn't ruined, but for my first for years it wasn't like walking with sunshine on my shoulders either; I could not move my legs or sit up independently, and for a time, it wasn't known whether or not I would be cognitively aware. By the grace of God, only my limbs were affected.
In my Sophomore Year of high school, I met a classmate in my Spanish class. Her name was Mary, and when she leaned over to talk to a friend, I overheard her say that she was a meth addict and smoker. My heart lurched. Dear God. I was 16, and she was also. We got talking, and she said she was desperately trying to make up her absence work, after being suspended for smoking on school property. Eventually, she hesitantly asked me why I was in a wheelchair and I told her about my birth mom, the lack of oxygen, the prematurity and diagnosis. I also informed her that whatever the expectant mother happens to ingest so does her unborn baby to some extent. Mary froze.
We befriended each other shortly after our first conversation, and as time passed, she opened up to me more. She had endured the terrible, tragic loss of a loved one to suicide not that long before, and was also experiencing convulsions from time to time, probably as a result of the meth. In April that year, her boyfriend was killed in an freak accident. Mary went on suicide watch again.
Miranda Kerr, a prominent face in the modeling industry, had completely changed my perspective on life when she sent me a free, autographed copy of her book, "Treasure Yourself" only a few months before meeting Mary. In her book, Kerr writes about her dark days following the sudden death of her first boyfriend, amongst other challenges. I immediately purchased another copy of the book and surprised Mary with it as a gift that June.
It felt so incredible to give. Not only that, but the Kerr Family made sure to send their thoughts and positive vibes to Mary. It was uplifting to see the smile on Mary's face. She had seen the video about Kerr's story, but was absolutely shocked to get her book and to know that Miranda was supporting her as well during the difficult time.
Presently, Mary has a new perspective. Still grieving her loss, and understandably so, she wrote me to tell me she was home sick, but for some reason was genuinely smiling... For the first time in a very long time. She now is in a relationship and told me that she is absolutely blessed.
Every decision you make will impact your life in either a positive or negative way. But they will change future generations too. I should know. I can't walk. I can only use my left arm. I'm seventeen and women are still dressing me, bathing me, carrying me. I can't let go without collapsing to the floor. Oxygen to my brain was severely restricted. I have Cerebral Palsy. I am the biological daughter of a drug addict.
I know what drugs can do.
They're no party.