Having finished my midterm essay in English recently, and proudly receiving a not-too-often-given A+ by my professor, I quickly swallowed my urge to flip out, and dove right into my research paper. I brought home my new chair on Tuesday, and I've discovered a side to me that's been dormant since depression smacked me in the face 3 or so years ago. While my depression has obviously taken a hike and I'm much more enthusiastic about life, I still was fighting a deep-seated weight of anxiety and low self-esteem... that is until my chair arrived! On Thursday, I returned to campus briefly to check out some books at the library for my research. I was beaming the whole time.
My best friend, Lara (of 14 years and counting), joined me and my assistant, Kara for a 90 minute lunch prior to research. Clearly, I was procrastinating but I also knew I needed the laughter shared during that time too, so I didn't reprimand myself. Once at the library, Lara showed us to the elevator, which mind you, is the size of a kiak (basically, it's a super skinny, super-aged, super-claustrophia-inducing Doctor Who portal thingy). Kara and Lara had me go on first, which I never allow, unless absolutely needed for the exact reason as what happened next: the door began to close me in alone, and the girls were scrambling to keep it open while stifling their thunderous laughter in a "no talking zone". I was freaking out mainly because my chair was so big I wasn't sure I could turn around, but then the two of them squeezed in. We kept laughing and joking across the hall to a information desk. This is where things get awesome...
Without panicking, seizing or stuttering, I went right up to the woman, elevated my chair and said, "hi, I'm new to the library and I'm needing some help on finding books on homeschooling." She directed us to another desk where I did the same thing and then I was sent to a man who helped me look up a book. He directed us to a shelf and went down the aisle for me, grabbing a few reference titles he thought would be of use, and I handed them to my aid. When he left, I wheeled up to a cubby table and proceeded to relay potentially useful passages to my aid who was typing them onto my ipad. Lara returned 20 minutes later from working diligently on her math, and we found a round table to sit at. I reclined my chair, popped up my feet on elevate and propped a book on my knees.
The next day (on Friday), Kara and I raced to the library to check out those books I'd placed on hold. I didn't talk to the lady that day as I was severely disfigured in my chair from spasticity and couldn't move my head or right arm. My torso was angled awkwardly, leaning toward the right and my head was frozen at the side of my headrest, angled downward. By the time we left the library, I'd lost feeling in my right arm which had been wedged at my side until I wiggled free. It was at that point that Kara asked if I needed a reposition, to which I answered yes. I'm not usually one to say I need help or I'm uncomfortable, and instead choose to tolerate it until my aid mentions it. I don't know why I do that, even when I'm really close to my aid(s).
When we got outside, we found a little caterpillar stiff on the walkway. "Aw, poor little dude," I said, suggesting to Kara that we she should bring it over to the tree just a foot away. She knelt down and as soon as she touched it, it curled into a ball, and she shouted, "Yes! Yes, little guy! Survive!" But it wasn't moving anymore when she placed him on the wood chip pile around the tree. we settled at a table beside the Starbucks cafe to get some work done. Just as I started to get really into my books, Kara said she'd forgotten her water bottle at the library. We packed up and floored it across the frigid bridge again, and while she was inside, I waited by the tree. The caterpillar was now moving very fast around the wood chips and I leaned down as low as I could and willed it aloud to make it to the tree. I must've looked really weird to the guy practicing skate board tricks in the center of campus, but I didn't care. Kara returned and we celebrated that we'd saved a tiny life.
The night, we went to the campus auditorium to watch the movie, "Tammy" and of course, get free popcorn. I spoke very briefly with the Student Counsil members before going inside. It was a great night of laughter and fun. Because Tammy loved Cheetos with a passion, I bought a bag from the vending machine afterward and munched on them while I go to know more about Kara. She adores the Beatles so much, and we have decided that we will dress up as "The Eggman and Walrus" for Oct 31st. I will be The Eggman.
I've also begun to dance to my music is the car. I just shut my eyes and act like mom's not watching and laughing in the rare view mirror. :)